Have you ever gone out for dinner, your date chewed too loudly and you were turned off right away? Or hear the deep fear of someone you hardly know about using a cute nickname for you. You may be experiencing discomfort. It may now be all over your feed-people talking about being super trivial things shut down immediately.
Skip the Instagram post for FireFox NVDA users-to access the content below, press "M" to enter the iFrame. This is really trivial. From wearing swimming goggles to sitting cross-legged, people have explored everything. "I think I have experienced it in almost every relationship I have ever experienced," freelance writer Melissa Mason told Huck.
"I would date a man and be totally obsessed with him, and think he is the greatest person in the whole world, one morning I will wake up thinking, I don't think you are hot at this particular moment," she explained.
"Then I will be completely rejected by him the next day."
Emily Vernem, co-host of the podcast The Undone, fully understands this.
She told Huck a special situation that made her stop and evaluate.
"My friend and I are sitting in the park and we are watching this very hot guy swimming in the lake," she said.
"He just started splashing on the water, as if you could see his legs kicking on the water. It immediately made us both sick."
"I really have to sit and think with myself, it's too casual. It's like, what he did was just a funny thing," Emily said.
The psychological reason behind ick
It turns out that getting an ick is more than just picky.
Skip the Instagram post for FireFox NVDA users-to access the content below, press "M" to enter the iFrame.
Relationship coach Carly Ann posted this information on Insta. She said that ick usually happens to people who like us, not to people we have to chase.
"Usually major events will happen, including being abandoned, neglected, trauma, uncertainty, inability to meet your needs, or [with the sick person] being hurt again and again," she said.
This really resonated with Melissa.
"I am really afraid that people will get too close to me. If they do leave, they will hurt me."
Melissa said: "I realized that when I start to argue with someone, the intimacy with them will go to a new level, which makes me feel terrified on a subconscious level."
Why does ick have its moment now?
Sickness is certainly nothing new. Shows like "Sein Fei's True Story" and "Friends" have entire storylines dedicated to this phenomenon.
But something in the world we are in now means that it has a moment.
Emily believes that the paradox of choice has a lot to do with this. The paradox of choices is that even though you might think that more choices will make you happier, they actually make you feel less satisfied and less likely to make a decision.
"Now we are dating more than ever... and we are not only dating the same person, we are also dating multiple people at the same time," Emily said.
"Everyone you date, next time you want to date someone better, like, where does it stop? When will you relax?"
Melissa believes this has to do with the need for instant gratification and perfection.
"You just want orgasms, orgasms and orgasms all the time. But real life is not like that...Real life sometimes does boring things and has an imperfect partner."